... and brown paper

“Up Jack got and home did trot

as far as he could caper

and went to bed

to mend his head

with vinegar and brown paper.”

Also stealing an idea from what the Guardian described as the greatest half hour of TV ever (I made a mistake it praised the series and mentioned the episode "Waiting For Gordon") , an episode of Doctors which managed to incorporate parts of Samuel Becket’s “Waiting For Godot” much to the chagrin of the hardcore fans and written by my good friend the writer Paul Campbell (he’s on IMDB you know)

Two wait at a bus stop

They are waiting , maybe for a bus , maybe for another , maybe fro a break in the weather , it is raining.

The bus stop is sheltered enclosed on three sides , with a seat running the full length, and therefore offering some shelter

The two men stand either side of the bus stop , masked , as the plague is still rampant so you don’t want to spread it, but cannot trust strangers.

In the centre of the seat is a package, possibly a box wrapped securely in featureless brown paper.

Is that yours?

No, Is it yours?

No

Should we see what’s inside it?

It might be someone’s who left it here while he went for some cigarettes , matches or just for a pee

It must not be valuable then

It could be dangerous

What do you mean?

It could be a bomb , or contain poison

But it’s at a bus stop, and one that is seldom used

And the bus is very late, it might be cancelled

They’re always doing that

The bus services these days are so unreliable

Should we hand it to the bus driver , if amd when it comes?

Like I said , it might be dangerous , that would not be a good idea.

Is there any writing on it? Or a label or something

I can’t see anything

Pick it up carefully and look

No you do it , it’s your idea

Have you got any gloves

No but I have an Aldi carrier bag , would that help?

I suppose so , give it to me

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He examines the package , back and bottom , there is nothing written on , nothing sealing it either , no Sellotape or tabs

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There’s a smell of vinegar , vinegar and brown paper , like the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme

I had some fish and chips in it last night , the vinegar is probably from them

I think we should open it , see what’s inside

No, no , what if the owner comes along and it;s something personal?

Well if it’s important , you don’t leave it unattended in a remote deserted bus shelter

And where is that bus , it’s got very dark very quickly , and there;s not been any traffic along here, in fact there’s not been any people walking past , it’s like we are the last people on earth . That’s a joke.

Is it , I am getting worried about this , Im sure there were shops , but I can’t see anything down the road. It’s so dark I don’t think we could safely leave this bus stop

Oh come on the bus will be here soon

What time is it?

There’s something wrong, my watch says twelve o’ clock , and it;s stopped

So does mine , this is scaring me.

I can’t see across the road , it’s like the darkness is drawing in on us.

What is is in the package?

Well it’s us , the bus stop and the package , we need to know

Slowly unwrapping the package , they found it contained a white box , upon opening the box they took out two tickets which read ; “One Passenger: Limbo”

The bus drew up and they joined with their tickets

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Newspaper Article: Two gentlemen were found dead in the bus stop on XXXXXXX street. Foul play is not suspected , they had no families.