Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash
It's a striptease show:
Voyeurs openly gaping
As you let it fall.
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More stories from Rachel Deeming and writers in Poets and other communities.
The Portrait of Matteo
Seventeen-year-old Manny got off a public bus at a busy intersection in downtown Philadelphia. When the bus released its brakes and passed his narrow view, he checked whether the art museum across the street was still there. He had been visiting it every day that week but wondered for a second the veracity of its presence. Now, the spring sun betrayed its gray highlights, giving it a warm glow.
By Paul Aaron Domenick5 days ago in Fiction
Comments (20)
Oooo, this felt metaphoric for the changing of the seasons but I could go other places too! Congrats on honourable mention on this week's leaderboard Rachel!!
Ha, and this one is playful. Love it!
This is a creative way of making the prompt your own! So many similar entries, so this one sticks out for thinking about the tree itself👏
Congratulations, Rachel!!!!
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
🤯 This was brilliant! Completely not what I expected based on the title but the artistry in word choice was awesome! Love the voyeurs watching line in particular!
Ha ha! This is wonderful Rachel. I nearly missed it but Paul directed me to it, saying it paired well with mine. I’m so glad I didn’t miss this 🥰
Mic fucking drop! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Oh and good job!! 😄
I was working on one just like this! Haha. THANKS Rachel. 😅🤣
You're on fire with these! They're all so good! I've never seen fall as an undressing until now lol
Yes!!!! All I can say is that I absolutely love this haiku. Well done, Rachel.
Oh my! This has got to be one of my most favorite haikus I've ever read. Now I'll be blushing as I drive to work down the street lined with fall strippers.
Hahhahaha! Perfect! So true!
This feels surprisingly provocative, Rachel. Autumn as peep show. Highly original! Given that when trees are stripped of their foliage they appear skeletal, once again I am reading death into your haiku, which probably says more about my own thoughts regarding mortality. Beautiful haiku and good luck on the challenge!
The humorous side of truth.
Very clever haiku!
Clever, saucy and now has me craving a proper bit of Deeming Smut. lol. If that's okay to say or not, I am not sure. I am also not sure I care? Loved this and love all your different takes on Autumn and trees shedding their foliage. You have and still are a class fucking act, chum!
So cleaver comparison. And you always find the best pictures! :D
Oooo, it's so clever comparing it to a striptease. Loved your Haiku!