How Communication Can Affect Your Life

I’ve never really liked talking to people, but I’ve learned that it’s necessary, no matter how you feel about it—whether you’re working with people, making friends, or needing help with something.

From your first day of school to your first job, communication is unavoidable. You don’t need to like it, but it’s something you should know how to do. All of your major opportunities will involve talking to people. Take school, for example. You have to be able to talk to your teachers if you need help on a confusing topic. This also helps you build relationships with your teachers so they can recommend you for a college or a job. Even outside of the business and school parts of life, you have to make connections with people, even if you like to be alone. It opens doors to new opportunities and even improves your overall well-being.

I learned this when first coming up with my business idea. I can’t exactly ask people for bottles without talking to them. After some trial-and-error, I developed a simple 30-second pitch that gets my point across and gives me a real chance at support. It’s not 100 percent guaranteed, but with practice, it helps me build trust and find even better ways to pitch my idea, especially to people of higher authority, like an apartment building manager.

Most people avoid talking because they're afraid of being embarrassed, or they don’t know what to say. Sometimes it’s even related to overthinking or past awkward experiences. For me, it was overthinking. I never really know what to say when I’m around people, although I’m working on it. I see someone who might be interesting to talk to, and right when I come up with what to say, they’ve already left. From what I’ve learned, overthinking stops the conversation before it even starts; in the end, you’re going to miss your chance entirely. You just have to pick a topic, break the ice, and start talking. It’s easier said than done, and takes a lot of practice, but you’ll learn. Instead of feeling embarrassed or thinking about past awkward moments, just think of each conversation as a learning experience. If the conversation leads somewhere else, congratulations! You used what you previously learned, and it paid off. If it doesn’t, it’s not that big of a deal, just work on some things, and try it again next time.

There are many downsides to not learning how to communicate, the biggest being missed opportunities. Imagine you’ve got an opportunity for your dream job coming up, and you’re almost exactly what they need. You’re capable, reliable, and have strong leadership. But your weakest skill is communicating, which is an essential skill for the role. Now compare that to someone else who doesn’t meet all the requirements but has excellent communication skills; they’re more likely to get hired than you are. Not because they’re more capable, but because they can express themselves better than you. This is how a lack of communication can hold you back. It can cost you jobs, relationships, and countless opportunities.

The way I would start is just beginning with some small talk. Find a new person to talk to, ask a question, or crack a small joke. Don’t overthink it, just go. Only think for a couple of seconds about what you want to say, then go for it. Make sure that you’re listening when the other person talks as well; communication is a two-way street. You have to speak and actually listen. Don’t try to be perfect, because if you do, then you’ll be thinking about what to say for so long you miss your chance. It’s like with my bottle business. Realistically, I have a total of five seconds to get across my identity, my idea, and how they can support all in one sentence. I have zero time to think about anything in that moment. That’s why practicing in real time helps; you won’t master the art of talking to people in one night. Try to find two people during the day to talk to and ask the first question that comes to mind, doesn’t have to be a deep question, it can just be something simple. Like asking them where they got a piece of their clothing from, or if you’re in a library, ask them about the book they're reading. All it takes is one sentence to start a real connection with a stranger`.

Talking to people is never going to feel natural, but that’s not what it’s about. You don’t have to be the most social person in the room—the goal is to stop letting embarrassment and overthinking hold you back. Every conversation is a chance to open a door; it may lead to a connection or an opportunity, but in the end, you’re still growing. You don’t have to talk to everyone, but you can’t afford to say nothing.