The Last Dance

What if this is your last dance?

I know you've heard a version of that phrase many times in your life and it's been used to twist something in you.

What if this was your last day?

What if this was your last moment?

What if this was your last breath?

Your life flashes before your eyes,

all the sorrows and lies,

the many faces you hid behind because you were

too damn scared to be seen

naked.

And when you hear that question,

the security blanket of time

slips from your shoulders

You greet the dark shadows of yourself,

the empty caverns of your heart haunted only by your greatest fears.

Have I done enough?

Am I worthy of crossing that threshold with dignity and grace

without shame or regret?

Am I good enough,

strong enough

humble enough

to welcome what is on the other side.

Am I

Enough?

That's the animal within me.

She's been dancing beneath my skin for as long as I can remember.

Do you know her too?

Does she whisper to the empty spaces in your heart?

Are we

Enough?

How do we know if we are enough?

What is like to feel and be

Enough?

I think it feels soft and gentle like a loving hand

pressing on the small of your back.

It feels like clean warm air,

a kiss on the neck

a peaceful surrender to this wild creature in you that is

brave enough

strong enough

innovative enough to show up and dance with the world.

We wake up to the unknown, the fears of the past and

troubles of the future hanging over our heads.

We wonder at the time ahead of us,

the people we will touch,

the words we will speak,

the spaces we will fill.

We anticipate the sting of growth and the excitement of change.

We meet the day

every day

and allow ourselves to be baptized over and over again by its light.

So if this is my last dance?

My last moment?

My last breath?

I will feel it all.

The pain and hunger and terror.

the ecstasy

the love

the way laughter can heal a broken heart

the bravery it takes to speak your unshackled truth.

I will gaze into the faces of the souls who know my own

drink in the rawness of their eyes reflecting mine.

I will gather every hug, every smile, every warming of the heart

into my chest with gratitude,

with a prick of awe.

I will understand that the need to feel and be more is a lie.

There is nothing beyond my reach that will make me more whole than I already am.